I Don't Understand

everyday I get a little more hurt
everyday my heart cracks a little more
everyday a tear threatens to leave my eye
everyday I walk alone, lonely inside

you're there
you're not

I don't know what to do anymore
You filled up the emptiness inside of me
But now
Now
You're making it
worse
than ever.

I don't understand
How one moment
In that blessed moment
You're sweet
Charming
Wonderful
Perfect
And suddenly
Randomly
Although now I think
I almost expect it

You're gone.
Left.
Went off to spend time
With your friends
My friends
And I see you light up
And I see you darken
When you return.

So let me ask you this
When you said "I love you"
And please
Oh please
Don't spare me the truth
Just answer me now
So that I know

Did you mean it
Or was it just
another stupid
thing I chose to believe
in?

I need to know
Otherwise
My heart
Will shatter completely
And sure
It's made of muscle
and blood vessels
and God knows what.

But my heart
Not the one inside my chest
But the one inside my head
Oh yes
It will break
Tear
Disintegrate

My world will fall apart
So I need
To know
right now.

Because I
I just
I don't

I don't understand.